Many years ago, when I was twelve years old, my dad abruptly left our household because of a personal business affair, which resulted in the loss of our home. We barely survived, but thanks to my mother, she got a part-time job to provide for us and other essentials. I was also bullied by the IRS agent waiting for me to come home from school to harass me as to where my father was. Mom left the garage door partially open so I could sneak into the house. The IRS guys were parked across the street, but I was fast and could get into the house.

My Dad, through his lawyer, one and a half years later, disclosed my Dad’s location. The lawyer was later disbarred as a result of bad legal advice and corruption.

I was in the fourth grade when Mom, I, and our dog relocated from New Jersey to West Palm Beach, Florida.

Dad was working as a caddy master at the famous PGA National Golf Club, earning 90.00 dollars per week cash. We lived in a boarding house with two active, violent alcoholics.

Mom enrolled me in Catholic school and took me to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, and [she sometimes had to borrow money from the waitress to pay for my breakfast]. She only had coffee for breakfast. We lived like this for 1.5 years until Dad managed to rent a small house. It was small and not so clean, but Mom made a house into a home. Most nights we ate pasta fagioli (pasta and bean soup).

I wanted to be with my Dad now that we were together again, so the head golf professional at the time allowed me to clean out golf carts and pick up golf balls on the driving range for two hours a day after school. I was paid $1.60 per hour. Now, for a 12-year-old kid, this was big bucks.

I served as an altar boy at Saint Clare Catholic church, where I also attended school. I wanted to learn about God. I was lonely, and I missed my sisters and friends back in New Jersey. I was in a culture shock, and I was used to the 4 seasons (that being the northern climates). It was strange to me that it was 80 degrees in summer and 80 degrees in the winter.

I remember taking part in the May Day parade, that is the feast of the Blessed Mother on May the 5^th. I wanted a relationship with God or someone, as I was so lonely. Someone told me to pray to God, so I did, but I was still lonesome.

I was being raised around older guys in their early 20s, golf pros working for my dad, looking to make it in the game of golf at the PGA golf club.

The teachers at my school called mom and dad in for a conference because they said I always looked like I was ready to cry (on occasions), as I just looked out the school window looking north, rationalizing that New Jersey and everyone were just beyond the horizon. I suffered from depression, but I always felt a ray of hope because I was surrounded by famous golfers and celebrities, as they always played golf at the PGA golf club.

I then discovered that Dad had a drinking problem. One night, he came home from work drunk and very belligerent. He mercilessly hit my Mother. I was 12 at the time. I ran out of my room as I heard them arguing. Then I heard a slap and then a thump on the wall. I ran out to see my mom sitting against the wall in her night gown with a huge bump on her hand. I told him to stop. He said to me, “What are you going to do about it?” and he shoved me away. (I felt helpless and with no one to contact or to lean on at the time). I was afraid, for they were all I had, and I was over 2000 miles away from my family. I was scared. I looked at my mom as she sat there against the wall crying, and I walked back to my room and covered my ears, hoping for it all to stop. The next day, it was so strange to me. It was as if nothing had ever happened the night before. I said nothing about it to my mom or him. It should be noted that this same behavior happened on other occasions.

Then Dad received the promotion of his life. He was tapped to become a rules official on the PGA golf tour. This was just 3 years after getting back together with Dad. We went from being broke to suddenly celebrity in the sporting world of golf. Dad received write-ups in the local newspapers as well as local television interviews. He also made good money. He was a celebrity, and I too felt so proud of him. There was only one problem: he left us again to travel on tour, but this time for good reasons. He was gone for 3 months at a time.

I was accepted into the Delbarton School in Morristown, New Jersey. The school was staffed by the Benedictine priests and religious brothers. I became a boarding student at the school while my mom traveled with my dad.

This was a (very lonely and depressing time) for me at Delbarton, as I missed everyone. On weekends, I would go up to the abbey church and just sit on the steps looking out over the beautiful landscape of the property. I asked God, “Why is this happening to me? “  It was so quiet there. I began to feel a presence, I felt god assuring me it would be okay, even though I did not get it. “I’m in a terrible situation. How is everything going to be okay?”

I stayed at the school except for holidays and until Mom and Dad relocated back north to New Jersey.

Dad and I, because of his drinking problem had a fist fight as he kept physically shoving me in his drunken state. We later made up as he started receiving religion and a healing in his heart through the ministry of evangelist Oral Roberts, on television.

I wound up as a catholic boy educated by benedictine catholic priests and brothers, enrolling in Oral Roberts University. I started learning about the Christian denominations. I fell away from the Catholic church, being surrounded by 3000 protestant students and living once again in a dormitory, but now in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Now, coming out of an all-boys school at Delbarton with no girlfriend, I discovered the wonderful world of women, and I fell in love at first sight. Sue became the love of my life.  Sue filled the void of loneliness with love. This was the first time I experienced physical love. We got married and had a child, and we divorced 7 years later, as she would not leave her Pentecostal faith, and she refused to follow me. We also ran out of money because neither of us could find work to meet financial obligations.

I moved back to New Jersey, broke and in debt, and I lived with my older sister, Carol, who belonged to a Catholic Christian community. Carol told me to seek a catholic annulment of my marriage to sue. Carol also encouraged me to join this Catholic Christian community and to stay celibate for up to five years so as not to get involved with another woman on the rebound of Sue and to abide by the rules of the catholic faith.

I went to confession at Saint Antonina’s Catholic church in Newark, New Jersey, and I then recommitted my life back to the catholic church. I started to develop a strong faith in God and the Catholic church. After losing literally everything I had except for some clothing and a car about to be repossessed, I discovered humility and that there was no substitute for the holy sacraments of the Catholic church.

I did receive an annulment, and I met Lydia, my wife of 36 years, and her two children. Lydia and I were married by Father Jude Salus, my English teacher at the Delbarton School. [mentioned earlier].

I now needed to support a small family, and I got a job working in sales for a paving and site work construction company. I then went into financial services, which has been my profession for 36 years currently.

I did start to drink alcohol heavily, and I also got hooked on a drug called Xanax. For a while, I managed to stop drinking and somehow got off the Xanax.

We then moved from New Jersey to Florida to take care of my Dad, but my drinking returned, and it got worse after Dad died, as I grieved over the past and the time lost with Dad. I then lost my oldest sister, Carol, and my other sister, Nancy. I was all alone now, even though I had Lydia in my life, I no longer had my immediate family. No more family holiday dinners or gatherings. All I had were memories, now I never thought that day would come to me, but it did.

I wound up in AA. Once again, I lost everything. I kept asking myself why I'm hurting. And what is my purpose in this life? I did not have any answers.

Once again, we relocated back to New Jersey, and I continued to attend AA meetings. I also needed a job, and I needed a job fast. Lydia suggested that I apply for a job at a new grocery store opening up in our area. It took all I had to swallow my huge pride and ego to accept a job for 12.00 dollars an hour with people half my age, but I went to work. Lydia was very patient with me as I worked and attended AA meetings daily.

It was at this point that I started developing great friendships, and one in particular, Jack S., who became a father figure to me. He was also a very successful businessman, and someone badly needed in my life, and to this day.

I continued to attend the Catholic church, and I became the grand knight of the Knights of Columbus of our parish church.

I then started doing the Holy Rosary daily after I listened to a tape about our Blessed Mother by the venerable late Fulton J Sheen. I was struck by the fact that Fulton Sheen explained that Mary was the new eve of the church and how God chose her to be the mother of his son Jesus Christ. He also explained the importance of how Mary helped start Jesus’ ministry when she encouraged Jesus to perform his first miracle of changing water into wine at the wedding feast of Cana.

I was struck by the fact that Jesus listened to his mother.

I was also influenced by the words of my late sister Carol Margetts, who kept telling me while she was alive, to do the rosary, and how she experienced our Lady’s power and blessings as the rosary and our blessed mother changed her life and brought her closer to Jesus Christ.

So, I started to pray the rosary at my local church during the day when it was quiet, and no one was around. I sometimes said it out loud.

Bishop Sheen once said that the secret to his success in life was that he spent one hour of day of his day sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament. He also said he visited Lourdes, France, a small French town at the foot of the Pyrenees mountains, 30 times. This was a place where the Blessed Mother appeared to a girl named Bernadette Soubirous, Saint Bernadette, 18 times.

I did not think I could say an entire rosary per day, as the prayers are repetitive and total 50 Hail Marys per rosary, but then I never really tried. I started and made the commitment, non-negotiable, to say the rosary every day.

My life did not change overnight, but as I continued to work my grocery store job and my insurance business, things did start to change.

1. I stopped worrying as much as I once did.

2. My insecurities started to ease.

3. I started to trust God and to accept that no matter what happened, God was in control and that something good had to benefit me somehow.

4. I realized that God does have a purpose for me and that I was not born by mistake, but that I was truly created in heaven and put on earth, be it for certainly a very short period of time.

5. I realized that I was called by God to lead others to him through the Blessed Mother.

6. I was recruited by the Knights of Columbus, and I became the grand knight of our council of 50 men within three years.

7. I started the family holy rosary night to be live-streamed one night a week in our church.

8. I became active in the right-to-life movement in our church.

9. Our council started sponsoring seminarians at the Saint Mary’s Abbey, Delbarton. The high school I had attended.

10. I got involved in helping local charities/ intellectual disabilities, food pantry, etc.

11. I became very sensitive to the needs of others.

12. Best of all, my family life drastically improved.

I started to see a disconnect between young people and God. Fewer and fewer adolescents were attending church, and more and more young people were showing up at AA meetings. I also noticed that younger people were lacking in trust and faith in God, let alone believing in a God of their understanding. I started to see mounting emotional problems in school bullying and more and more suicides among younger people. I started to realize that we needed more mental health options for people, and I noticed a total lack of morality.

I noticed more drug and alcohol abuse. More women are frustrated with pregnancy issues because of no money and confusion about the pressures to get abortions (at will).

I then decided to start our website, marylives.com, because if our blessed mother could help me, she certainly could help others as well. So, I have committed myself to serving our Blessed Mother so she can lead people to her son Jesus Christ. I believe that we can develop a strong relationship with Jesus by praying with our Blessed Mother, but as I mentioned earlier, Jesus listens to his mother. If we ask for her intercession for us to her son Jesus, how much more powerful is it to have our prayers answered? I want to point out that I realize I’m not alone anymore. I know that God is real and our blessed mother is real as well. Today, many miraculous healings are happening all over the world. At Lourdes, France, Fatima, in Portugal Our Lady is appearing to people and many are recognized and confirmed by the church.]

Our hope and goal is to reach thousands of people to start saying the rosary daily and then to teach others as well. I truly believe and know that our Blessed Mother is reaching out to all of us. If you are reading this narrative, she may be speaking to you as well. If today you hear his voice, harden not your heart. Rev 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person and they with me”.

Yes, our Blessed Mother is alive and well and reaching out to all of us. Start saying the rosary, and let us help you. Discover what she will do for you as she is doing for me and millions of other people around the world. Our Blessed Mother is hope!!

It all begins with an idea.

It all begins with an idea.

I am blessed, as a certified lay minister, to serve on a volunteer basis in a number of different capacities for my church: director of the Adult Spiritual Education, chair of the Finance Committee, assistant to the Senior Pastor, worship liturgist, and worship lay preacher.

My faith journey has been especially impacted by my Walk to Emmaus in November 1998, which literally changed by life. My favorite prayer, no surprise, is the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, had a transformative spiritual experience when he felt his heart “strangely warmed” which convinced him that God truly loved him and was giving him the grace to lead a holy life.  When I went on my Walk to Emmaus, I was an active alcoholic and on that weekend I received and accepted the grace to get into AA and now have been sober, one day at a time, for 26 years and am trying to lead a holy spiritual life.

I want to share a few words about this concept of “holiness’ which might be useful to users of this website.

There are two important parts of holiness. These are personal holiness and social holiness. Both parts are equally important. Personal holiness deals with such things as keeping the commandments and not sinning. However personal holiness goes far beyond just keeping these commandments. True personal holiness is living your life in such a way that it models the love of Jesus to all. We seek this not simply because God will “get us” is we do not, but because God’s love has already “gotten us.”

Social holiness is living your life in such a way that it makes a difference in our world. Disciples of Jesus are mandated to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the sick and hurting, visit the prisoners and treat the outcasts the weak and those who live on the margin of society with respect and dignity. When we study the gospel, we find that Jesus taught more about these things than anything else.

So, what is holiness? Holiness is living a life that shows Jesus Christ to the world, both in what we do personally and how we treat others socially as well. To be holy as God is holy can easily be dismissed as an unattainable pipedream, or it can be a real challenge for us to strive to attain. Let us work together, through this “Mary Lives” ministry, to strive for true holiness in our daily lives.

It all begins with an idea.